Time to Go!

I leave in the morning. It just doesn't seem possible that it's already time to go. The nervousness is finally hitting me now.

Up until this point I've been really excited- don't get me wrong I'm still really excited- but now I'm super nervous to leave. I think it's because up until now I've been able to say, "Oh I'm not leaving for a month" or "I still have a week until I leave." But now I can't say that. First thing tomorrow morning (we're leaving at 7 ugh) I'm leaving for college. Everything is loaded in my car, and all that's left to do is pack up what I have to use tonight and in the morning, put my bike on the bike rack, and we're gone.

It still doesn't seem possible.

I finally cried though. I was doing good and totally wasn't going to cry, but then my mom said this thing that she used to say when I was little and it made me cry. We had this thing where one of us would say "Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," and then the other one would join in and say "If they do bite them back." It's kind of silly, but yah know....

I cried again standing in my room. I was packing up the last few things that I can for tonight- I hadn't really stopped crying yet from the whole bed bugs thing- and I burst out in tears again.

My sister and I share a room, so it's not like my room is completely empty, but looking around the room I couldn't believe how empty it looked. All of my pictures and posters are down off the walls and all of my stuff is taken off the shelves and dresser. It's a weird feeling knowing that tonight is the last time I'll be sleeping in my room. I mean yeah, I'll come back in the summer and on holiday and stuff, but my mom is taking my bed out (we have bunk beds- mine is the top) so now whenever I come back either me or my sister will be sleeping on the couch.

I think that's the best way to explain how I feel right now: weird. I don't really know what else sums it up. I'm excited and sad and nervous and anxious all at the same time. I'm anxious to leave, but I don't want to at the same time. I'm excited to move in, but at the same time I'm extremely nervous. (If my whole roommate thing stays the way it is right now it'll be the first time I've had my own room since my sister was born)

I have to say though... I think excitement wins out against all the other feelings. I am so excited to get out and be on my own. I'm looking forward to all the new friends I'll make and all the new things that I'm going to do.

Let's just hope I don't get too carried away....